Introduction to energy vampirism.
The attention bridge. Chapter 12.
When a person directs their attention at someone not only do they give their time but they also give a certain quantity of their vital energy.
As a result, one thing is to ask for other people’s attention in the natural course of events but it is very different to do this with the aim of satisfying purely selfish urges.
Here are some examples:
We could ask a friend the time because we need to know it or out of interest; or as a way of breaking a silence which is making us uncomfortable.
We could tell a story about our lives because the people we are with have invited us to do so, or because we believe that the story will make us look good and we crave the admiration and recognition of our audience.
We could get up and sit down again several times because we have things to do, or because in this way we hope to obtain the level of attention we are not receiving from the person we are with.
We could speak louder because we believe that otherwise our companion will not listen to us or because we want people outside the conversation to hear what we are saying.
There is a never-ending list of possibilities. We could also go our wearing a particular outfit because we like it and feel comfortable wearing it, or because we believe it will attract more attention or a special kind of attention.
That is to say:
Do we do or say what we do or say because that is what the circumstances require of us?
Or, do we do or say these things in order to make other people direct a level or kind of attention that, in normal circumstances, we would not receive?
If every time we do or say something we ask ourselves these questions we can find out if we are behaving like energy vampires. However, in order to do this we also need to be honest with ourselves- not least because the pretexts we come up with to justify our vampire-like demands for attention-energy can prove to be blindingly convincing. Like when we give advice to someone; not because they asked for it but because it is an opportunity to demonstrate how much we know or what good people we are. In these cases it is easy to convince ourselves that we are behaving altruistically with the intention of helping others – nothing is further from the truth.
And who would be brave enough to accuse us of acting selfishly- like a vampire? Given that we can easily (though not legitimately) feel justified in calling our accuser ungrateful or cynical.
Human beings use a lot of our attention and energy in the pursuit of getting people to direct and transfer their attention and energy to us. Depending on what our aims are, we learn to use a wide variety of behavioural strategies and make demands on people’s attention which leads us to practice various forms of vampirism.
We practise purely attentional vampirism when we demand the attention of our fellow man with the aim (conscious or subconscious) of absorbing their vital energy.
This type of vampirism is the speciality of bores, wizards and showmen. And indirectly, also, of provers and the aloof.
We practice vampirism by adherence we try to attract people’s attention using feelings of incapacity or self-pity. We do this to make people feel compassion and look after us.
This kind of vampirism is most often used by people who see themselves as insecure or dependent.
We practise affective vampirism when we demand the attention of the people around us with the intention of getting them to admire us or put us on a pedestal. We need them to consider us more self-sufficient than we truly are. We seduce them into transferring feelings of admiration and superiority to us while inducing the diametrically opposed feeling of inferiority or of being unloved in them.
Provers and the aloof are those who most often practise this form of vampirism.
Whether or not they are aware of this, both provers and aloof individuals cover up their feelings of inferiority behind a mask of arrogance which they use to continually prove their worth. This they do in an attempt to demonstrate to themselves, and those around them, the opposite of what they really feel.
We practise sexual vampirism when we demand the attention of others in order to awaken in them sexual desires so as to get them to behave or react in accordance with our personal interests.
Within this category there exist two very different subcategories: sexual vampirism by seduction and sexual vampirism by harassment.
The more common is sexual vampirism by seduction. It is like when women go out wearing uncomfortably tight-fitting clothes so that the reaction of the public, (especially men), helps them offset the feeling of not being attractive enough.
One of the more evident cases of sexual vampirism by harassment is that of men driven by the pursuit of the satisfaction of their sexual impulses who make other people feel harassed sexually; although, evidently, the practice of vampirism by harassment can often be incited by a person practicing vampirism by seduction.
 Given the comparative nature of feelings, it is impossible to feel that someone else is superior to us without inducing the diametrically opposed feeling about ourselves. If we believe someone to be superior to us we therefore consider ourselves inferior. And if we believe them to be inferior it is because we consider ourselves superior.